Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Just my thoughts

If you read this you will experience the rare opportunity of "being inside my head." These are just my's the real me!

I'm anxious. The Bible says, "Be anxious for nothing." That is a tough one for me. I am a very planned, organized, and a somewhat Type A personality. I want to know what is going to happen, so I can plan and prepare for it. When I'm pregnant I find out if it is a boy or girl because it would drive me crazy to not have the crib bedding on and ready, and clothes washed, and everything appropriate for the correct gender.

What am I anxious about?

The campaign. I know it will be a lot of work, and I want Roger to win so badly, but I won't know until a long time from now. I don't like waiting to find out what will happen.

More children. I would love to have more children, but when? There isn't a "good" time with the election coming up, and if Roger wins then we will be living in Tallahasee part of the year, and I don't want to deliver in Tallahasee.

Adopting. I REALLY want to adopt! I don't want to wait. There are too many children waiting to have a family that can take care of them and love them. We're a family...we have lots of love...
let's do it! Roger isn't convinced that now is the time. I've asked him to pray more seriously and diligently about this. I don't even know how we would afford it, but I completely believe God would supply the money. He would have His work cut out for Him because we would need money for the adoption and a new van, too. Our van isn't big enough for six kids! God can do all things!!!

Money. I don't care that much about money, but it's tough for us right it is for so many people.

My dad. He is having some health problems. We should have answers soon, but at the moment it is all up in the air. He's in Kansas. I'm in Florida. Not much I can do to help... That's hard, too.

School. We will be starting school again next week. It will be fine once we get started, but it is a lot of work to get to the starting point. I have to get everything together, figure out the best schedule for us, and figure out our new curriculum. I will feel much better when I figure it all out and have a plan.

It's stressing me out a little just to type all of this out. I'm usually not a very stressed-out kind of person, but I feel like there are so many things to think about all at one time, so I feel a little overwhelmed.

"Pray...and let God worry."--Martin Luther
I liked this quote even though I know God doesn't worry. I think the true point is to pray and leave it at the feet of Jesus, and let Him lift the burden. I need to trust in God's timing and His perfect will, too. Being a planner, I often try to take the reins when I don't feel like I am getting my way, or when things are happening more slowly than I desire.

On a positive is when I feel overwhelmed that I learn to draw closer to God, lean on Him, have increased faith, and learn to trust and obey God.


Mindy said...

I always appreciate honest thoughts. I have no answers for your anxieties but I know God can soothe your mind and soul.

Meredith said...

I probably spill the contents of my brain a little TOO often :) Glad to know I'm not the only one with constant unanswered rambling thoughts though! Thanks for sharing, will be praying for you..

Pegsy said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kerry. You've been on my mind so much the last few days and I've been praying a lot, even though I didn't know anything specific. I'm glad to know how to pray more effectively. Take things one day at a time and remember to enjoy today just the way that it is! God will bring the changes when the time is right. I was just reflecting on this in my own life last night...

Love you, my friend! Happy July 4th!