Monday, October 31, 2011

Pregnancy woes

I am not one to complain when it comes to pregnancy.  Even when I puke for months!  I feel blessed each time I get pregnant.  I have friends with fertility issues, so complaining about being pregnant seems very selfish to me.
This post is more for me to look back on in the future and see where I remember.  It is also to help anyone else who has felt this way, feels this way, or will feel this way in the know they are not alone.

This pregnancy is, by far, the most difficult.  I made a comment on facebook recently that I felt like I was going through post partum depression...and I haven't even had the baby yet!  Thankfully, others chimed in and said that it is absolutely possible to have depression during pregnancy. 

This is what it feels like...
moody, beyond belief...about nothing...and the same time
crying...over nothing...and the same time
anger...over nothing...and the same time
completely overwhelmed...over nothing...and the same time
absolutely intolerant...over nothing..and the same time
feeling like I need to get away from everything and everyone and curl up in a ball until I feel better

It's kind of like the very worst in me is right at the surface.  It is not the typical me.  It is not me at all.  I don't know who this person is.  She comes and goes.  She was here with a vengeance this weekend.  She seems to have taken a vacation today at the moment.

I studied Psychology in college.  It still fascinates me.  Maybe even more now.  I knew depression was real.  I knew it could be chemically imposed.  Hormonally imposed.  I have a new compassion for those who suffer from depression.  I understand the feeling.  The feeling of it being completely "out of control."  You cannot talk yourself out of it.

In the will be worth it.  It always is.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Well Visits...Franklin, Ari, Miles and Bethany, and Ligon, too!

Franklin and Ari had their 8 year and 6 year (respectably) well visits with the pediatrician September 1st.  Franklin weighed 47 pounds (7th %tile), and was 47.75 inches (10th %tile).  He is staying on the smaller side, but following the same pattern he has had since he was a baby.  Ari was 45 pounds (37th %tile) and 46.5 inches (56th %tile).  He has always been on the taller end of the spectrum.  Franklin and Ari have been wearing the same size clothing for quite a while now.  So far, it doesn't seem to bother Franklin (he doesn't even think about it) that he and Ari are almost the same size.  According to Franklin and Ari,the best part of the doctor visit was "getting to pee in a cup."  The least favorite part was when Ari got 2 shots.

Bethany and Miles had their 9 month (she'll be 10 months on Sunday!) and 5 year (respectably) appointments yesterday.  Bethany weighed 16 pounds and 13 ounces (10th %tile), and measured 29.75 inches long (90th %tile).  Oh, to be tall and skinny like her!!!  She got a flu shot, but that was it yesterday.  It was nice to have an easy day for her.  She barely even cried when she got the shot.  Miles weighed 40.5 pounds (48th %tile), and was 43.5 inches (61st %tile).  He was in the normal range for Iron, but the very, very low end, so we need to increase his iron intake over the next year.  It was suggested that we buy Flintstones vitamins with iron.  He went to the allergist a few months ago because of a terrible reaction to a wasp sting, and because of the testing they did (9 little shots!!!  Ouch!) he is terrified to go to the doctor.  Actually, he is terrified of nurses because the nurses did the testing at the allergist.  Much to his dismay, he got 2 shots, which he said "they didn't even hurt" and he was "fake crying."   He could have received as many as 5 or six, but we declined the flu shot since Bethany was only getting her first and it is a live vaccine and we also declined the chicken pox shot because it is another live vaccine and she will not get that shot until her 12 month check-up, and we lastly declined the pneumonia shot.  Everyone will be getting a flu shot when we go back in 30 days for Bethany to get her second flu shot.  Shhhhh...don't tell them!  Miles will get his chicken pox shot and one other when I take Bethany for her 12 month well-visit.  That should be fun!...two kids getting shots at the same time!

I had a quick check-up yesterday for our newest little guy, Ligon, yesterday, too.  I was 22 weeks pregnant on Monday.  I am doing well, except for being dizzy off and on, so I am going to boost my liquid intake/trips to the bathroom, and protein.  Other than that, Ligon seems to be growing well, he is active, and his heart rate is great!  Grow, Ligon, grow!!!