Why does God allow pain?

Why does God allow pain?  The answers often seem so trite.
"No pain...no gain."  Really?
"He won't give you more than you can handle."  Well, why give it to me at all?
"Because it draws you closer to Him."  One would hope, but sometimes it makes us bitter.

I don't have all of the answers.  I can only share what God has taught me.  And, He taught me a big lesson last week.

And, so the story goes...

It was Wednesday night.  Last Wednesday night.  All of my children were sleeping blissfully in their warm, comfortable beds.  I was thinking about the day and how happy Ian had been.  This poor little guy has been so sick the past three months with terrible infections in his throat, so it was wonderful to see him SO happy.  He had been dancing and singing and jumping and playing.  It was so good to see him so happy...and healthy.  I was standing in the kitchen talking to Roger when I broke down crying.  Of course, he asked what was wrong and this was my reply, "I feel so guilty."  You see, I had watched my little guy be happy all day and he was oblivious to the fact that I...yes me...by myself...was taking him to the hospital the following morning and allowing people to put him in terrible pain.  How could I do this to my child?  Why would I allow someone to hurt him?  He is too little to understand.  Are we sure this is best for him?  Do we have to put him through this?  In the end, I knew this was best for him, but I still didn't want to do it.

And then...God showed me that it is the same for tough circumstances in our lives...for painful moments in our lives.
Why would God allow people, or circumstances to hurt us?  How could He do that to us?  Are we too "young" to understand?  How could this possibly be what is best for us?  Do we have to go through this?

I understand that getting tonsils removed pales in comparison to tough circumstances in life, but it was through Ian's surgery that He taught me that sometimes pain is necessary to bring us to what is good.  Ian's tonsils were so bad that they were literally falling apart.  It appeared that he was finally getting healthy, but, in reality, he was still a very sick little boy.  He needed to go through the pain of having his tonsils surgically removed, so he could get to what is good...living without this terrible infection...being truly healthy.

Putting it into perspective...life examples:
I have had three miscarriages, losing four precious babies.  Yes, God allowed this pain.  It is still painful.  So, how can this be good for me?  Why would He allow me to go through this?  I do not know completely.  Somehow, He works all things together for our good.  I do know that I am much more compassionate and understanding when a mom loses her baby to miscarriage.  I know that God is sometimes silent, but always present.  I know that He knows what is best for me and I need to trust Him...even when I do not understand.  I see each child as a miracle and I am amazed each time I deliver a healthy baby...and completely grateful.

Praying for those who are going through the bad, and wondering where the good is:
A couple in WV who recently lost their baby when she was only 24 weeks pregnant.
My friend, Rachel's, brother and sister-in-law who lost their baby recently, just a few weeks before the due date.
My sweet cousin, Robin, who is grieving the loss of her 34 year old husband who tragically died last week...and her three precious children, who are missing their daddy.
My friend, Stephanie, who is going through treatments for cancer while trying to be a wife and mommy.
My on-line friend, Tesney, and her husband who flew all the way to Russia for a second time to adopt their little boy with Down Syndrome, but were refused by the judge.  And so, Kirill sits in a mental institution with no person to love him.

Where is the good in these situations?  I have no idea.  BUT, I know God is there...He knows their journey...and even when we cannot see the good...it is there...somewhere.

HE can move the mountains!

We received an email yesterday reminding us that in our lease agreement the owners of this house can put it back on the market...effective today!  Yes, we remembered that!  It went on to say that our lease is up April 15th.  Yes, we remembered that, too!  Except, we thought we had agreed to a possible two month extension.  Guess what?  It's not in the contract!!!  Yes...we have one month to: find a house, pack this house, close on our new house, and move. 
At first...I wanted to SCREAM!!!  Okay, so maybe I did panic...okay, so maybe I am still a little panicked.  BUT, God brought us here, He has a home for us, and we are learning that He can move the mountains!  Pleasssssssssse Lord...move this mountain...quickly!

A "sort of" trip to China

We are studying China this week and next week in school.  My kids have been intrigued by China for the past year, so they are super excited to finally get to study this country.  Roger works with "Lucy" who is from China, so he asked if she would be interested in joining us for dinner to tell us about her country.  Thankfully, she said she would be happy to come!
We had SO much fun!!!  She was so sweet!  She answered all of our questions and taught us some Chinese and wrote "The Lord's Prayer" in Chinese for Lauren and then read it for us, too. She also brought gifts from the last time she was in China.  She was such a sweetheart!
I made orange chicken with white rice and sesame chicken with noodles.  Lucy said it was good!  She also told me about a Chinese market close by and offered to go with us to try some new foods.  I think that would be a great opportunity!  This was a great evening!

Indoor BBQ?

I was sitting downstairs feeding Bethany, Ian was taking a nap, and the other four were upstairs playing.  Lauren came bounding down the stairs yelling, "MOM!!!  Come upstairs FAST!"  My first question is typically, "Is someone bleeding?"  She assured me that everyone was okay, but I needed to come NOW.  I got upstairs to her bedroom to find Miles strapped to a chair (not in a hurtful kind of way!), and this is what had me almost literally rolling on the floor...Ari was laying on her bed on his stomach, wrapped in a pink blanket with his head up and a whole apple in his mouth.  Lauren declared, "We're having a barbecue!"  It was SO FUNNY!!!  Okay, so maybe you had to be there, but it was totally funny to me at the time!  I wish I could have made it back up there soon enough with my camera!
These kids keep life funny!

I'm baaaaack!!!

I haven't blogged in almost a year and I've missed it!  I have some things on my mind that I need to get on a page, so I am coming back to blogging.  I'm going public for a while and we'll see how it goes.

the saga continues...

Lauren, Franklin, and I were supposed to go see The Sound of Music at Astronaut High School last night. We borrowed the movie from the library to watch, in advance, so we would be ready for the musical. We were so excited! Franklin asked all day, "How many hours until we leave?!" About an hour before we were supposed to leave Franklin began vomiting. I felt so bad for him. He was so disappointed that he couldn't go.
Lauren and I enjoyed the musical. It didn't start until 7:30 and it wasn't over until 10:30. As we pulled into the driveway I noticed two sets of Ian's sheets and mattress covers in the grass next to the house. I immediately knew what that meant. Either he had diarrhea, or he was vomiting. Well, he vomited at 8:00, then again at 10:15. Poor little baby. I was up with him at 12:15 because he vomited again. I don't know how many times Franklin was up in the night, but it was a lot! I am exhausted.
I kept having this feeling last night that Roger was going to get sick. Everytime he moved I was prepared for him to get out of bed to be sick. It didn't happen...not last night, at least. Today is another story! He didn't feel well this afternoon, and now he is spending his quality time in the oval office.
SICKNESS...BE GONE!!!

A wonderful surprise

Roger had to go to a meeting last Tuesday evening after I got home from the hospital with Ian. I really didn't want him to go. I was exhausted, and not feeling great, and Ian was miserable. Well, he came home with this amazing surprise he WON at the meeting! How great is that?!

So tired...of this...

Do you ever have moments that you just want to sit and cry because nothing seems to be going right? I'm there! From Ian's illness and hospital visit, and then the stomach bug that passed through Ian, me and Lauren to little things in life just adding up.
Lauren and Franklin went to help their grandma pull some weeds on Tuesday. I needed some groceries, so I packed up my three little guys and headed to Walmart. We were having fun looking at the clearance aisles, and picked up some good deals. It was lunchtime, so we went to the McDonald's inside Walmart. Miles said he didn't want anything to eat. He said, "I'm sick. I need a drink." To me, that meant, "I want some Coke." I kept saying, "You silly boy. You're not sick!" And then...halfway through lunch...as he is sharing a coke with me and Ari...he vomits all over! No, no, no!!! All I could think was, "Oh great! Now I just exposed Ari to this stuff!" I kindly left everything at the front of the store and told them I had to leave. He was sluggish the rest of the day, but he hadn't vomited...until tonight. He hasn't eaten well the past few days, but he hasn't complained about being sick.
To top it all off...Ian has somehow caught a cold, and Lauren has a really sore throat. Ian was also up from 11:15-2:30 two nights ago...I am tired...

The sick bug BITES!

Last week was a very crazy week! Ian had been running a fever for 9 days and it was going up, so I decided to take him to the doctor Monday morning. I thought that maybe he had an ear infection. Well, the doctor checked him and said his left lung sounded bad and suspected pneumonia. I was shocked! He said he wanted to admit him to the hospital and run some tests because this fever had already gone on too long and since it was getting higher it was a sign that his body was working too hard to fight it. Again...shocked! I had no expectation of going to the hospital.
They had a very difficult time getting blood and getting the IV in. They finally found a place to put it in his foot. He was very unhappy! He felt miserable! He had fluid in his lung, but it wasn't pneumonia. Everything else came back negative. His fever persisted. The doctor was confused and thought that it may be a viral infection in his blood...sort of like mono, except Ian is too young to have mono. I convinced the doctor to let us go home the next day, but his fever was still there, so they gave him an IV bag of antibiotics first. Our deductible for insurance is $10,000, so this is all going to be out of pocket! Ouch! The doctor completely understood and agreed to let us go home as long as I would bring him back to the office the next morning.
Ian's 11 day fever finally broke in the night, so we were relieved. I noticed a rash on him while we were in the doctor's office the next morning. The doctor said that was a good sign. Children will sometimes break out in a rash when their fever breaks. That's new to me! Of course, if his fever came back then that would be a bad sign! The doctor also noticed that Ian had an ear infection. He had checked his ears several times in the hospital, so I'm not sure when that happened. He had already sent us home from the hospital with an antibiotic, so we were good to go.
And then, we both got sick with a stomach virus that I think we picked up at the hospital. Niiiice! And then, Lauren got it, too!
Yeah, it was a tough week!

Ian is still sick

He is not feeling well. Cutting four teeth. A fever for almost a week. A trip to the doctor on Monday? Possibly...